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Lose 5 pounds.

Eat more vegetables.

Cut back on lattes.

Just a few years ago, those items would have topped my list of New Year’s Resolutions.  They probably seemed very challenging at the time.  Life was simple and attainable, and my declarations reflected things that didn’t need much determination.  Strangers tell me I need to gain weight, I actually enjoy vegetables and okay, maybe the latte one would require a bit of steadfastness, but in hindsight, I see a list that had no figurative meat and potatoes.

Yesterday came and went, and I never thought about formally making resolutions.  I’ve become the opposite of the list above, setting lofty goals for myself almost minute by minute, because a certain level of control and satisfaction with my life has become illusive.  I’m the hamster on a wheel, afraid to get off, for fear of…that list seems endless lately.  If I hop off the wheel, I’m thinking this is it and I don’t want this to be it.

Did you know the average lifespan of a hamster is three years?  I think I’ll go get a latte, order a pizza and try to get off the wheel.