My 15 year old son is low maintenance. His idea of maintenance is a shower with soap. His idea of high maintenance is sneakers nary a scuff mark (ok, that one is a bit weird). Don’t get me wrong, he does spend time selecting which basketball shorts to wear with which college sports team t-shirt and there is that whole sneaker thing. Still, he can get up at 6:50 and make a 7:05 school bus and that includes a shower, breakfast, brushing his teeth and the top ten plays on Sports Center. Most importantly, he’s clean. He works out a lot, plays sports 24/7 and eats healthy so it’s not that he’s careless about his appearance, it’s just that it doesn’t rule his life like it did my daughter’s world at 15. His friends are all the same way, except for one kid with a lot of swag who looks high maintenance to me; it’s always good to hang out with one of those kids who’ll point out if anyone gets really out of line. Other than a two week obsession in middle school with Axe Body Spray (he fell hook, line and sinker for those commercials where the girls threw themselves at Axe wearing boys), he is an Old Spice deodorant wearing, Irish Spring soap washing, crew-cut kind of guy. I confess to having my high maintenance moments so this is all his choice.
With an older sister, many teenage boys have sauntered through our house, looking like they take longer than my daughter to get ready for a night out. I don’t understand this generation of overly appearance obsessed/coiffed crazed males. I call it the David Beckham Syndrome. How do soccer players play hard for ninety minutes without a hair out of place? Gel, hairspray and more gel that’s how. Never mind their blindingly white straight teeth, smooth sloughed skin, manicured nails and facial hair grooming which looks like it takes longer to accomplish than looking up directions without GoogleMaps.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I have a secret obsession for facial hair that looks like it only takes as long as using dial-up to search the internet, sort of like David Beckham, who I was throwing under the bus earlier. Sorry David. Gone are the days when a scar or imperfection made a guy more manly, more masculine – think George Clooney. No, wait George Clooney is perfect but not in that too perfect kind of way. Today, it’s hairless and sculpted, a trend I wouldn’t mind my 49 year old husband catching on to – think Ryan Gosling. PLEASE THINK RYAN GOSLING.
My son’s only demand is a visit to the barbershop every two and a half weeks for a crew-cut. I’m talking about a real barbershop that doesn’t sell any hair products, has stacks of car magazines and a tv constantly tuned into ESPN.
When I picked him up at the barbershop today, he said they asked if he wanted his eyebrows sculpted! Wait, what? I would be the first one to point out to my teenager if they had a unibrow or if their brows were meeting their hair line. After he assured me he had no concern about his eyebrows, we laughed about the suggestion.
What’s going on that we’re trying to introduce teenagers and younger children to perfection at a time when they are discovering so much about themselves? They really don’t need more to worry about. There are blogs discussing the earliest age to wax eyebrows with some asking about kids as young as three years old! Common sense here people.
C came home from the haircut and showered, went for a run and showered again. As a Mom, you have to be thankful for a two shower day. Now I’m going to mention to my husband he stops by the barber for a bit of manscaping.