One of my favorite parts of reading blogs is the use of nicknames. There are those with sickly sweet names for their children like Angel #1 and PuddingBooBoo or strangulatingly endearing pet names for their partner like Most Perfect Spouse in the Universe. Excuse me while I vomit in my mouth. I am more inclined towards brutally honest descriptions like Old Man, Tax Deduction and Nerdy Child. So here goes.
Husband of 20+ years: the “Roommate” – enough said.
19 year old daughter: “BG” – stands sarcastically for Big Girl because of her crying phone calls over college disasters – whether she failed a test, her car was towed or she sold her camera on CraigsList and mailed it to Nigeria before the money went into her paypal account. Spoiler Alert: The money never went into her paypal account.
15 year old son: “Carb” – breakfast is 2 bagels, lunch is a slice of cheese between 2 bagels and dinner is whatever I am making put on a bagel. We should patent his latest creation – the macaroni bagel sandwich.
11 year old son: “Rough Draft” – in the immediate gratification world of 11 year olds, the concept of preparing a rough draft in school is foreign to him. What do you mean he has to revise the creative and grammatically exceptional paragraph he spent all of thirty seconds on last night?
You will be hearing more about the Roommate, BG, Carb and Rough Draft. If you avoid delightfully pleasant monikers, I would be happy to read your blogs. And if you use delightfully pleasant monikers, I will read them and make fun of them. If you notice any particularly intriguing nicknames, please pass them on.