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From the moment I wake, my head spins. Obsessed by many things – writing, working, switching careers, wondering where those latest wrinkles came from, how to squeeze in a run so my head doesn’t spin off and ensuring my 11 year old is not made a “permanent island” by his teacher due to his excessive talking made the short list this morning. Contrary to most moms, I enjoy chauffering to the all consuming kids’ activites because it focuses me on where I am going NOT where my life is going.

For 40 years, I lived life as it came. Now I am driven by pursuit and the harder I seem to work, nothing feels accomplished, like a juggler who keeps dropping the balls.

I need a break. I have decided to take on a cause much less ambitious but none the less polarizing – what to call undergarments. There are only two choices:
1. underwear – conjures up images of the Golden Girls
2. panties – tantalizingly desirable when Ryan Gosling whispers “I am going to rip off your panties” but as that has yet to happen for me, I am searching for something new. NEW. At 47, the possibilities of new are what I long for.

I am undergarment challenged. I have comfy cotton for working out, lycra to wear under work clothes and those little daring ones for when Ryan stops by. Somehow they all get jumbled into the same mess. Maybe that is because Ryan isn’t stopping by.

The thong – talk about polarizing. How many of us have the body for a thong? How many of us are comfortable in a thong? Don’t get me started on thongs peeking out over jeans unless Ryan announces on TMZ that is what he likes. But there is something about an ooh la la, I am wearing sexy lingerie feeling that can make your day.

Yesterdays news was overwhelming – the torment in the hearts of those affected by gun violence denied justice in a cowardly vote by our nation’s senators, a victim of the Boston bombing whose face was littered with shrapnel and surgery scars discussing how he was one of the luckier ones.

For a few minutes today, my cause is renaming undergarments. If Oprah can devise a mainstream term like vajajay, surely this is not such a difficult task.  I pray justice for those whose lives are changed by senseless acts of violence could be as effortless.